Traveling girl

I have been all over the place and am finally getting around to updating and posting some pictures.  I went to Washington to see the family and we went to the cabin for a couple fun days.  We lounged around, played games, ate yummy food, rode horses and just enjoyed our time together.

 Here's cute Brigham and Amelia.

 Mike doesn't like me to ride horses especially since I broke my knee but he wasn't there and I rode bareback again!!  I love to ride.

 My dad came up and as you can tell it was a little chilly and we had the stove going or as we call it the energy zapper.  It sucks you in and puts you to sleep.

 Blurry picture but we had fun playing games.

Jared and Jess came over from Spokane and we had a big game night.  We had a Rook card tournament (mom actually had a 200 hand without cheating), played Quirkle and did a puzzle.  It is fun to just all be in the same room even if there are different things going on.  I'm sure we'll do it again at Christmas.

 The girls went to lunch at the Secret Garden.  A fun girly restaurant.

 Here's my 2 youngest nieces.  They are growing up.  Megan loves to snuggle with me and Lily is a little firecracker and check out her curls.  Just like her mom.

 I have been working on LOTS of projects.  I can't really show them all yet because they are Christmas gifts.  But here are some cute skirts I made for some lucky little girls. They are fun to make and so cute.

Mike and I celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary on Oct. 8.  He had a scout campout that night so I went to dinner with some friends.  So fun!!!

My friend Cori and I and her 3 kids went to Montana for 4 days.  Her parents have a ranch there and it was so peaceful and quiet.  We made it into a quilt retreat and worked on lots of projects.  This was the room we worked in and had big windows on all 3 sides so the views were great.

Here is the ranch.  Such a pretty setting. I love the book "Hattie Big Sky" which takes place in Montana.  We had a great time and I got a lot of projects finished.

Cori and I came home for a day and left on Monday morning for New York City with our other friend MaryAnn.  We got there early enough on Monday that we were able to get discount tickets to Mamma Mia!  So fun.  Gotta love ABBA.

Here we are just before the play!

Times Square...so many lights and it really does not ever sleep.

The M&M store was still open at 11 p.m.  Work it girls!

This was the real reason we came to NYC was to see Wicked.  It has been on my bucket list.  I LOVED it.  It was amazing and so fun.

Here's a look at the stage from my seat.  AMAZING.  This of course was taken before they announced that no pictures were allowed.  Ooops!

After NY, I came home for a day and Mike and I went to Lake Tahoe for the weekend to meet up with his cousin and aunt.  I didn't take any pictures and it poured down rain the entire time so we didn't get to explore much.  It was a long ride but it was fun to travel in my new car.

We are off to St. George next so Mike can ride in a 100 mile bike ride.

My CEA score is now 17.  It came down but I'm not getting too excited because the tumors did grow a little bit.  I'll get another score in a couple weeks and probably more scans in January.  For right now I am just feeling great and enjoying my craft room and projects and travels.

Doctor's update

I have been running around having lots of fun times.  I have pictures but will not get to it tonight.  I went to Washington to see my family and have had lots of lunch dates and fun times with good friends, and I've also been sewing a lot in my craft room.  I will post pictures later.

I went to the doctor today and things were better than what I thought I was going to hear.  My tumors have grown a little 7 mm to 10 mm so not too aggressively in 6 weeks.  My decision is to still not do any chemo...I'm feeling way too good to go back on that.  The doctor isn't able to give me any type of time frame...but I am just keeping my hopes high that the tumors stay small.  My last CEA score was 33 (not good) but at least I don't feel any effects yet of the growing cancer.  I am also taking an herbal tea a couple times a day that I heard about from my cousin who is fighting cancer.  It tastes like hay and is pretty disgusting but if it helps keep the tumors small then I'll keep trying it.  As for now I have many fun times ahead.

Tomorrow I am off to Montana with my great friend Cori and her kids.  We come home for a day and then head to New York City to see Wicked...I'm so excited.  Hopefully Mike won't miss me too much.

Love to all my great friends and family for your continued prayers for me.

Let the Fun Begin

I have been having the best time ever.  I'm so glad I feel good.

I have been bugging Mike for over a year that I want a new car.  He keeps talking me out of it and so I was consigned to the fact that we were OK with our paid off cars.  He went into work last Thursday with a strong feeling that he needed to do this for me.  So....I negotiated with the dealer and I traded in my Honda Civic for this...an Acura MDX.  I love it and feel very spoiled.

Mike spoils me so much and I love it.  We were able to buy the car just in time to take on our trip last weekend to Jackson Hole, WY. 

We had a blast with the LOTOJA (Logan to Jackson) bike race.  It is 206 miles long.  The weather was so beautiful and the perfect temp (70's).  Mike was in a 5 man relay.  My friend Staci and I were the support for our neighbor Gabe who rode the whole thing himself.  His wife Tina was in a 3 woman relay.  It was so fun and everyone did an awesome job.  We didn't have any crashes, flat tires, or mishaps.  Gabe was an animal and didn't stop.  He would come into a stop and I would trade water bottles with him and give him his supplements and then he was off again.  He ended up taking almost an hour off last years ride.  I think it helped him to know that the relay was behind him and he wanted to keep his lead.  We almost had a couple lost cell phones but luckily they stuck to the bumper like glue.  We stayed a couple extra days in Jackson along with some of the other couples and had a great time.  Here are some fun pictures from the weekend.  (Our camera did not have any bike race pictures...I'll have to post those later).

Mike and I going into the Teton National Park.

We took a boat ride across Jenny Lake.  I looked at the map and decided that I could handle a .5 mile hike to some falls.  I didn't know it was going to be uphill.  It took us an hour to go 1 mile up and back.  My knee is just not strong enough for hiking.  I relied on Mike a lot to climb up big rocks and to come back down.  But I did it and was glad that I made an effort to go on a short hike.

Gabe & Tina...great neighbors and friends and fierce biking competitors.

Mike and I took the Jackson Ski Tram up to the top of the ski lift.  Incredible views of the Tetons up there.

I am just so glad that I feel so good and feel semi normal.  I still get really sleepy in the afternoon (my 3 p.m. nap) but for the most part I'm doing great.  More fun times ahead so stay tuned...

Good & Bad News

I know that many are waiting for an update on my latest scans and doctor's appointment.

I met with the doctor today excited because I knew that I was done with chemo.  He however was in a bit of a solemn mood and did not share in the excitement I was feeling because of the news he had to deliver.  So my abdomen looks great...no signs of any tumors or new growths.  The bad news is that the cancer has decided to attack a new body part...my lungs.  There are an innumerable number of spots on my lungs with the largest being 7 mm.

 Not large at all but we don't know how fast it is going to grow.  So I am on a 6 week break and then I will have another chest scan to see if these spots are growing or if they are going to stay this same size.  My guess is they are growing because my last CEA score was 10.4 up from the last score and in looking at my February chest scan they were not there.

So my options are 1..to go back to heavy duty chemo which will not cure it...only prolong it and I won't have any good days, 2..go on a clinical trial (human guinea pig), or 3..do nothing and just have as many good days as I can.  Right now my thinking is #3 but I have 6 weeks to mull it over.

It was not the news I was wanting or expecting to hear today so I have been a little numb.  I still feel so much peace and comfort and know that my life is in the Lords' hands.  I know He hears my prayers and knows that I don't want to go yet but He must need me really bad on the other side because I have fought like crazy to stay here and keep this cancer at bay.

Mike has been my rock and continues to support me in my decisions.  He has been so strong although I'm sure he has his quiet moments of emotion and sadness.  I continue to rely on him so much for his faith and strength.

So in the meantime, I'm going to live it up and enjoy these good days ahead.  I'm heading to Seattle to see my family and go to the CABIN!!!!!  Yeah...I thought I was going to miss going this year.  We are going to CA to see Mike's family and hopefully another trip to Hawaii in the spring.

Love to you all for your thoughts and many prayers on my behalf.  Hopefully I have many good days ahead.

Chemo stinks!!

Today is the first day in a little over a week that I have felt pretty good.  Only one more treatment to go and I should be done with heavy duty chemo.  I know that mentally I can't take much more.  I am tired of poisoning my body and then working through the side effects to feel good again.  My doctor originally told me 6 treatments but then he cut that back to 4.  Next Tuesday will be the 4th treatment and I keep telling Mike that "I am done".  I have radiation coming up but I'm not sure what that will be like since I haven't had it before.  Hopefully it will be better than what I feel like now.  My score has been climbing (it is 7.4) which worries me a little bit but I meet with my oncologist on Aug 31 armed with scans, blood tests, and CEA scores and we'll see what he thinks.  I'll also send the info to my Spokane Dr. to get his opinion also.  I know that I was guided to this surgery and that I should likely have 3-5 yrs so I just need to have more faith that things are OK.

So onto happier things.  My sister-in-law Kristi Ann came for a baby blessing with her family and I was able to steal her away for breakfast on Saturday morning.  We went to Kneaders (yum) and it was so good to see her.  She brought me lots of gum to chew during my chemo week.  I brush like crazy and just can't get rid of the metal taste so that was thoughtful of her to bring me a little care package of gum.

This is the first summer I can remember where I'm not going to the family cabin.  It is my most favorite place on earth but it just won't work out this year.  I do have some fun things coming up in Sept and Oct so hopefully I will feel great and be able to enjoy life again.

Mike has been a saint through all of this.  I really don't know how I would get through any of this without him.  He has learned to be so much more patient and he is so quick to calm down my many fears and meltdowns.  We have also come to appreciate the blessings of eternity and that we are sealed together.  So many times we have felt heaven very close and are glad that we are on the right path and that we are together.  I love him lots and appreciate all that he has stepped up to do to help make this journey better.

I am off to bed and to take my nightly concoction of drugs.  Tomorrow is going to be a GREAT day.

OK...Time for an update

I keep thinking I need to have some new pictures before I update but I'm not sure when that will happen so I thought I would update without pictures.

Being home has been so great since my surgery.  I have felt so good and had so much energy.  The tailbone area is still a little sore but it has been nice to get out and enjoy a little bit of the summer.  My oncologist here in Utah is pleased with the surgical results and so we are on a new path again.  I started back to chemo again this past week.  I hate chemo more than anything and hopefully these 5 rounds will fly by.  Luckily I am back to doing the regimen I did very first and the side effects are not near as bad.  I just hate the lack of energy and state of yuckiness.  Mike has been the best ever.  The first night my leg bones were aching and he took time to rub my legs plus he's been doing laundry, cooking dinner, grocery shopping, sitting with me and just being my hero.  I don't know how I would get through this without him.

Everything still looks really good.  My cancer score is low (3.7) and hopefully after I get through with these treatments I'll have a few great years....or longer with just checkups :):)  So that's the update.  This is the 3rd summer in a row of chemo and hopefully the last.

Thanks to all for your continued thoughts and prayers.  It means so much.

More pictures

Here are some more pictures from Washington and recovery.

Jordan graduated from dental school yesterday.  It was a nice ceremony and it was fun to all be together (Mike was taking the picture).  I'm so proud of my baby brother..

The Teddy Bear Picnic.  It was a lot of fun and I think the kids had a great time even though we had to be indoors at the church instead of grandma's backyard.  It has rained pretty much non-stop the entire time I've been in Seattle.  Everyone is getting pretty sick and tired of the rain.

Here I am making the rounds at the hospital with my entourage.

Here is a hospital picture where I am not feeling so well.  I would have times where we'd pile all the blankets on because I was really cold and others where I just have a sheet because I am so hot.

Here I am out of the hospital.  My ward sent me this beatiful quilt.  It was waiting for me at my brother's house.  It makes me miss home and is like a giant hug from everyone.

I continue to feel better each day.  I'll be home on Friday and it will be nice to be in my own bed.

Update from Washington

I am finally going to update my blog. I had high hopes before I left for Washington to update from the hospital and all through my recovery but here we are a month after surgery and I am just getting around to updating. Sorry to all who have been waiting.


The surgery went well and I now have hope that my cancer will go into remission and I feel so much peace with that hope which I have not felt in a long long time. I had an amazing surgeon who very confidently attacked the cancer in my abdomen. He took off the part of the liver that had the tumors in it, took out my appendix, took out all the scar tissue from previous surgeries, put my small intestine in a sling to keep it up and out of the lower abdomen (it was prestine looking :):)), recut my colon and reattached it, and scraped away the tumor that was on my abdominal lining to the tailbone. Then they filled my abdomen with heated chemo and massaged it around for 90 minutes. Of course I was asleep for all of this. The surgery lasted 8 hours and then I spent 2 hours in recovery. Pretty aggressive but I am so glad that he was willing to do this surgery.

So here are some lovely pictures from the hospital...don't ask me why I am smiling...it wasn't all pleasant. I spent most of the time just laying down relaxing or walking my rounds in the hospital trying to get my bowels moving again. Mike would come over first thing in the morning and help me get going before the nurses even came in.  It was such a relief to have him there and I was really sad when he had to leave to go back home and back to work.  I had a tube in my nose for about 5 days which kept my stomach clear of all the post surgical fluids. The night before it came out I had a dream that I was sucking on a straw and I couldn't get it out of my mouth so I pulled....when really I pulled on my nose tube (elephant trunk). Luckily I woke up after only pulling out a few inches and quickly pushed it back down. The nurses all had a great laugh about it...they had had patients pull out the tube but never any that pushed it back in.

Emily surprised me on Mother's Day. She showed up and I was soooo confused. I didn't understand what was happening...how she was there or how she got there. When I realized that she had driven over from Seattle just to see me we had a nice cry and I loved that she came to see me even if it was a quick trip.

My brother and sister in law were the perfect hosts and it was nice to have a local and comfortable place to recover for a few days in Spokane. The weather was so great and it was fun to spend time with them even though I just layed around a lot. My mom was with me the entire time and it was so nice to have her close by.  We drove to Seattle when I felt up to it. It was about a 5 hour drive but not too bad. I have been here recouping ever since. There is just nothing like recovering at mom's house. Mike has been coming up on the weekends which gives me a big boost and I am so glad to see him and he is such a support to me.  I am headed home in a week with a quick stop in Spokane to see the doctor again.  Being home will be good and I will be grateful to have Mike there to help me in my further recovery. Here are some pictures from recovery....just laying around and getting lots of rest.

This weekend we have the annual Teddy Bear Picnic and my baby brother Jordan is graduating from dental school.  He is going on to Endodonist school in Texas so he's not quite done yet but he will be Dr. Bolles.  How exciting.

I will have a new plan when I get home which includes radiation on my tailbone area, heavy chemo and continued scans but hopefully the cancer will give me a break for a long while. 

Love to all for the continued thoughts and prayers being sent my way daily.  I know I am loved and that I have a Heavenly Father who still performs miracles.  I am fighting and praying to stay alive and I know that He hears my prayers and guides me to amazing doctors and procedures.  I hope that I can be a servant in His hands and continue to help those around me.

Fun weekend!!

I've had a great weekend.  Mike and I traveled up to Washington to see my family and to get ready for surgery this week.  We spent some quality time with my brother and Jordan and Emily.  They have a new baby Sunny and she is such a good baby and so cute.  Johnny looks just like Jordan did when he was a kid with the coarse blond curly hair.  So cute...love the curls although I am sure he will grow to hate them.  Mike and Jordan went golfing while I hung out with Emily and the kids.  They are moving to Texas soon and so it was fun to spend some time with them before they leave.  That night we just spent time together like we used to when they lived in Utah.  It brought back lots of fun memories.

Sunny's blessing was on Sunday and it is so neat to see my baby brother as a dad and he gave his daughter a beautiful blessing.  Then we all had dinner together at my parents and broke our fast.  We missed Jared and Jessica but they were in our thoughts and know that they were thinking of us.  It was also Brigham's birthday.  I  can't believe how quickly time has gone by since it seems like he was just a baby not that long ago.  He turned 10 and I am so lucky to be his aunt.  He is a very special person in my life.

Today we drove to Spokane and went through the worst wind storm of the year.  It was very dusty and we seemed to be in the middle of it the entire drive.  We are here and hopefully things this week will go well.  Tomorrow I meet with the doctor and get all my bloodwork done and then surgery will be at 8 a.m. on Wednesday.  Please continue to send your thoughts and prayers my way and that surgery will go well.  Hopefully I will have internet access and can update from the hospital.

Life is so precious and I still feel so at peace with whatever the Lord has in store for me.  I know that this surgery is the right path and I know that He will help me in my recovery.

Beach Trip

I went to the beach with my family.  We missed Jordan & Emily & Mike but had a great time in a big 7 bedroom beach house.  We had great weather and were even able to enjoy some fun times in the sand.  Here are some fun pictures. 

Playing kickball...almost everyone got involved in the game.

Our beach house is the wide one with all the windows.

We had fun crafting with Perler beads, coloring, playing games, watching movies, flying kites, but most of all just being together.  Jason looks pretty intense here but he's just playing a computer game.

Celebrating all the March birthdays in the family.  I love the way Lily is blowing out her candle.  Once it was blown out she threw out the candle and attacked the cupcake.  Too cute. 

We had a great time and hopefully we'll all be able to make it next time.

Here is my new toy.  I ended up getting a bonus for the 1/2 year I worked last year and so we spent it on a Clavinova.  I love it.  Mike got his first piano lesson on it.  I forgot how much I miss playing the piano.  I play the organ so much now but it is nice to just play some of my old classic piano pieces.

That is the end of the fun times.  I am heading back into surgery on May 5.  I met with a doctor in Spokane, WA who does what is called a HIPEC treatment.  It is heated chemo flooded into the abdomen but first he goes into the abdomen and removes all the cancer he can see.  It will be a long and intense surgery but it is the first time I have heard the word cure.  With the treatment I'm on right now, we know the cancer will come back, we just don't know when or where.  I feel like this is the right decision.  I've been talking it over with my medical oncologist and he feels like this might buy me some time.  So it is going to be a busy month getting ready for this surgery with x-rays, colonoscopy, blood tests, etc.  I will be gone about 6 weeks so I have to get everything in order at home too so Mike can survive when he isn't with me.

The good news is that my CEA score came down to 6.0 from 7.4.  I was pretty sure it was going to go up again because that is the trend it has taken.  That gives me some relief and hopefully when I have the surgery, there won't be much disease that has to be cut out.

Another exciting thing happening this month is that I start playing the organ in the Mt. Timpanogos temple.  I am so excited and know that I will feel the spirit so strongly.  I had my orientation and got to play a couple hymns on it.  It is such a simple yet beautiful sound.  If I can help others feel the spirit in the house of the Lord then what a great experience it will be.

Please continue to keep me in your thoughts and prayers.  I still feel incredible peace and know that it is because of all those around me who pray for me and love me.

ALOHA!!!

Mike and I took a trip to Hawaii for 10 days. It was heaven to get out of the cold and into warmth. Just what I needed. My doctor gave me a break from chemo and so it made the trip even better.  It only rained our last day.  We spent most of the time on Maui but island hopped to the Big Island and Oahu.

On Maui, Mike saw the sunrise from Haleakala and rode a mountain bike down.  He had to be outside our hotel at 2:30 a.m.  He went the day after we got there so that jet lag wouldn't be so bad.  I spent a leisurely morning sleeping and shopping for snacks for the week.  On Maui, we went snorkeling at Molokini (a crater just off the Maui coast).  It was AMAZING.  I was a little freaked out at first because I don't really like to see what I am swimming with.  Luckily Mike was right there to calm me down.  Good thing I missed seeing the shark (I was fixing my mask) because I'm sure I would have been freaked out ... all those JAWS movies.  We also went on a whale watching trip although we saw way more whales on our snorkeling outing.  Mike wanted to go see a popular surf spot called Jaws.  We found it and there was one surfer there.  The waves are so big that they use jet skis to pull them to the wave.  Pretty fun to watch.

If you look really close you can see the jet ski and the surfer.

This is the beach we were at on Maui at the Grand Weilea.  Beautiful spot.

Just before whale watching...how lovely :):)

Twin tails.

Whale watching

This was a mama and baby whale.  We saw lots of these.  We were never quick enough to get a picture of a whale breaching (coming out of the water) but they were amazing to watch.

Can you believe how blue the water is? I love it.

We then left Maui and went to the Big Island for 2 days.  We had so much fun and wish we would have stayed longer.  We went to Volcanoes National Park.  It was very interesting and the lava flows and formations look so new even though some are 100 years old.

This is the steam that comes from the active volcano.  It was pretty stinky and on this day the air quality was really bad and they closed down part of the road.

This is part of a lava tube that we walked through.  Pretty cool.

This is an arch made of lava that has been carved out by the ocean waves.

Here you can see how the lava flowed down the mountain.  Pretty impressive.

We stayed at the Mauna Kea which is an older resort that Mike's grandmother used to stay at each year.  It supposedly has the best beach in the whole state of Hawaii.  We went body surfing and had a blast.

Our final stop was on Oahu. We had been here before a few years ago but did not go to Pearl Harbor on that trip.  Here is a submarine that we were able to take a tour of.  Pretty tight quarters.

Here is the USS Arizona.  I had a very humbling feeling at this site.  For so many, this is their final resting place and I am so grateful for those who volunteer their lives for our safety and freedom.

The day before we were to leave it was a beautiful sunny Saturday morning and we were awakened by the tsunami warning alarms outside.  We were staying on Waikiki Beach and they do what is called a vertical evacuation.  The tsunami was to hit around 11:00 a.m. and so we went and had breakfast and then camped out in our hotel room which was on the 27th floor and watched the news.  Luckily not much happened and no damage was done.  It was just surges but we couldn't tell a difference in the shoreline.

Here is a picture from our hotel room.  The beach and water are empty except for all the boats which you can see a little bit in the next picture.  It is safer for the boats to be on the water about 1/2 mile away from shore than to be in the harbor.  There were so many boats out there.

The day we left it was really windy and rainy.  Our flight wasn't until 10 p.m. so we spent the day driving around the island.  We came to the North Shore (Mike loves to watch the surfers) and came upon these kite surfers.  They would jump and surf these waves while hanging onto their kites.  We watched them for quite a while.

The Hawaii temple.  So beautiful.

We found this beach using a book we bought.  The sand was so soft and the water so blue.  It would be a perfect swimming beach but as you can tell it is really windy on this day.  We decided that if we come back we will definitely go to this beach.

We loved our 2010 Hawaii trip and hopefully we will be able to go back.  The first night I got a little teary.  I was so glad to be able to make the trip because I didn't think I would ever be well enough to go to Hawaii again.  It is a magical place.

As for the cancer update:  I am meeting with a doctor in Spokane, WA next Thursday about another treatment option.  It is pretty rigorous and requires another surgery but it will be good to see what he says.  There are only about 10 doctors in the country that perform this procedure and Spokane is the closest.

My score went up to 7.4 which is not good but my scans are clean so I'm not sure what is going on.  Maybe this oral chemo isn't working as well.

Anyway I am in good spirits and going to the Oregon coast with my family.  We are renting a 7 bedroom beach house.  Should be chaotic but lots of fun.  I also became an aunt to another niece yesterday.  Congrats to Jordan and Emily.  I am excited to see little Sunny next week.