Doctor's update

I have been running around having lots of fun times.  I have pictures but will not get to it tonight.  I went to Washington to see my family and have had lots of lunch dates and fun times with good friends, and I've also been sewing a lot in my craft room.  I will post pictures later.

I went to the doctor today and things were better than what I thought I was going to hear.  My tumors have grown a little 7 mm to 10 mm so not too aggressively in 6 weeks.  My decision is to still not do any chemo...I'm feeling way too good to go back on that.  The doctor isn't able to give me any type of time frame...but I am just keeping my hopes high that the tumors stay small.  My last CEA score was 33 (not good) but at least I don't feel any effects yet of the growing cancer.  I am also taking an herbal tea a couple times a day that I heard about from my cousin who is fighting cancer.  It tastes like hay and is pretty disgusting but if it helps keep the tumors small then I'll keep trying it.  As for now I have many fun times ahead.

Tomorrow I am off to Montana with my great friend Cori and her kids.  We come home for a day and then head to New York City to see Wicked...I'm so excited.  Hopefully Mike won't miss me too much.

Love to all my great friends and family for your continued prayers for me.

Let the Fun Begin

I have been having the best time ever.  I'm so glad I feel good.

I have been bugging Mike for over a year that I want a new car.  He keeps talking me out of it and so I was consigned to the fact that we were OK with our paid off cars.  He went into work last Thursday with a strong feeling that he needed to do this for me.  So....I negotiated with the dealer and I traded in my Honda Civic for this...an Acura MDX.  I love it and feel very spoiled.

Mike spoils me so much and I love it.  We were able to buy the car just in time to take on our trip last weekend to Jackson Hole, WY. 

We had a blast with the LOTOJA (Logan to Jackson) bike race.  It is 206 miles long.  The weather was so beautiful and the perfect temp (70's).  Mike was in a 5 man relay.  My friend Staci and I were the support for our neighbor Gabe who rode the whole thing himself.  His wife Tina was in a 3 woman relay.  It was so fun and everyone did an awesome job.  We didn't have any crashes, flat tires, or mishaps.  Gabe was an animal and didn't stop.  He would come into a stop and I would trade water bottles with him and give him his supplements and then he was off again.  He ended up taking almost an hour off last years ride.  I think it helped him to know that the relay was behind him and he wanted to keep his lead.  We almost had a couple lost cell phones but luckily they stuck to the bumper like glue.  We stayed a couple extra days in Jackson along with some of the other couples and had a great time.  Here are some fun pictures from the weekend.  (Our camera did not have any bike race pictures...I'll have to post those later).

Mike and I going into the Teton National Park.

We took a boat ride across Jenny Lake.  I looked at the map and decided that I could handle a .5 mile hike to some falls.  I didn't know it was going to be uphill.  It took us an hour to go 1 mile up and back.  My knee is just not strong enough for hiking.  I relied on Mike a lot to climb up big rocks and to come back down.  But I did it and was glad that I made an effort to go on a short hike.

Gabe & Tina...great neighbors and friends and fierce biking competitors.

Mike and I took the Jackson Ski Tram up to the top of the ski lift.  Incredible views of the Tetons up there.

I am just so glad that I feel so good and feel semi normal.  I still get really sleepy in the afternoon (my 3 p.m. nap) but for the most part I'm doing great.  More fun times ahead so stay tuned...

Good & Bad News

I know that many are waiting for an update on my latest scans and doctor's appointment.

I met with the doctor today excited because I knew that I was done with chemo.  He however was in a bit of a solemn mood and did not share in the excitement I was feeling because of the news he had to deliver.  So my abdomen looks great...no signs of any tumors or new growths.  The bad news is that the cancer has decided to attack a new body part...my lungs.  There are an innumerable number of spots on my lungs with the largest being 7 mm.

 Not large at all but we don't know how fast it is going to grow.  So I am on a 6 week break and then I will have another chest scan to see if these spots are growing or if they are going to stay this same size.  My guess is they are growing because my last CEA score was 10.4 up from the last score and in looking at my February chest scan they were not there.

So my options are 1..to go back to heavy duty chemo which will not cure it...only prolong it and I won't have any good days, 2..go on a clinical trial (human guinea pig), or 3..do nothing and just have as many good days as I can.  Right now my thinking is #3 but I have 6 weeks to mull it over.

It was not the news I was wanting or expecting to hear today so I have been a little numb.  I still feel so much peace and comfort and know that my life is in the Lords' hands.  I know He hears my prayers and knows that I don't want to go yet but He must need me really bad on the other side because I have fought like crazy to stay here and keep this cancer at bay.

Mike has been my rock and continues to support me in my decisions.  He has been so strong although I'm sure he has his quiet moments of emotion and sadness.  I continue to rely on him so much for his faith and strength.

So in the meantime, I'm going to live it up and enjoy these good days ahead.  I'm heading to Seattle to see my family and go to the CABIN!!!!!  Yeah...I thought I was going to miss going this year.  We are going to CA to see Mike's family and hopefully another trip to Hawaii in the spring.

Love to you all for your thoughts and many prayers on my behalf.  Hopefully I have many good days ahead.

Chemo stinks!!

Today is the first day in a little over a week that I have felt pretty good.  Only one more treatment to go and I should be done with heavy duty chemo.  I know that mentally I can't take much more.  I am tired of poisoning my body and then working through the side effects to feel good again.  My doctor originally told me 6 treatments but then he cut that back to 4.  Next Tuesday will be the 4th treatment and I keep telling Mike that "I am done".  I have radiation coming up but I'm not sure what that will be like since I haven't had it before.  Hopefully it will be better than what I feel like now.  My score has been climbing (it is 7.4) which worries me a little bit but I meet with my oncologist on Aug 31 armed with scans, blood tests, and CEA scores and we'll see what he thinks.  I'll also send the info to my Spokane Dr. to get his opinion also.  I know that I was guided to this surgery and that I should likely have 3-5 yrs so I just need to have more faith that things are OK.

So onto happier things.  My sister-in-law Kristi Ann came for a baby blessing with her family and I was able to steal her away for breakfast on Saturday morning.  We went to Kneaders (yum) and it was so good to see her.  She brought me lots of gum to chew during my chemo week.  I brush like crazy and just can't get rid of the metal taste so that was thoughtful of her to bring me a little care package of gum.

This is the first summer I can remember where I'm not going to the family cabin.  It is my most favorite place on earth but it just won't work out this year.  I do have some fun things coming up in Sept and Oct so hopefully I will feel great and be able to enjoy life again.

Mike has been a saint through all of this.  I really don't know how I would get through any of this without him.  He has learned to be so much more patient and he is so quick to calm down my many fears and meltdowns.  We have also come to appreciate the blessings of eternity and that we are sealed together.  So many times we have felt heaven very close and are glad that we are on the right path and that we are together.  I love him lots and appreciate all that he has stepped up to do to help make this journey better.

I am off to bed and to take my nightly concoction of drugs.  Tomorrow is going to be a GREAT day.

OK...Time for an update

I keep thinking I need to have some new pictures before I update but I'm not sure when that will happen so I thought I would update without pictures.

Being home has been so great since my surgery.  I have felt so good and had so much energy.  The tailbone area is still a little sore but it has been nice to get out and enjoy a little bit of the summer.  My oncologist here in Utah is pleased with the surgical results and so we are on a new path again.  I started back to chemo again this past week.  I hate chemo more than anything and hopefully these 5 rounds will fly by.  Luckily I am back to doing the regimen I did very first and the side effects are not near as bad.  I just hate the lack of energy and state of yuckiness.  Mike has been the best ever.  The first night my leg bones were aching and he took time to rub my legs plus he's been doing laundry, cooking dinner, grocery shopping, sitting with me and just being my hero.  I don't know how I would get through this without him.

Everything still looks really good.  My cancer score is low (3.7) and hopefully after I get through with these treatments I'll have a few great years....or longer with just checkups :):)  So that's the update.  This is the 3rd summer in a row of chemo and hopefully the last.

Thanks to all for your continued thoughts and prayers.  It means so much.

More pictures

Here are some more pictures from Washington and recovery.

Jordan graduated from dental school yesterday.  It was a nice ceremony and it was fun to all be together (Mike was taking the picture).  I'm so proud of my baby brother..

The Teddy Bear Picnic.  It was a lot of fun and I think the kids had a great time even though we had to be indoors at the church instead of grandma's backyard.  It has rained pretty much non-stop the entire time I've been in Seattle.  Everyone is getting pretty sick and tired of the rain.

Here I am making the rounds at the hospital with my entourage.

Here is a hospital picture where I am not feeling so well.  I would have times where we'd pile all the blankets on because I was really cold and others where I just have a sheet because I am so hot.

Here I am out of the hospital.  My ward sent me this beatiful quilt.  It was waiting for me at my brother's house.  It makes me miss home and is like a giant hug from everyone.

I continue to feel better each day.  I'll be home on Friday and it will be nice to be in my own bed.

Update from Washington

I am finally going to update my blog. I had high hopes before I left for Washington to update from the hospital and all through my recovery but here we are a month after surgery and I am just getting around to updating. Sorry to all who have been waiting.


The surgery went well and I now have hope that my cancer will go into remission and I feel so much peace with that hope which I have not felt in a long long time. I had an amazing surgeon who very confidently attacked the cancer in my abdomen. He took off the part of the liver that had the tumors in it, took out my appendix, took out all the scar tissue from previous surgeries, put my small intestine in a sling to keep it up and out of the lower abdomen (it was prestine looking :):)), recut my colon and reattached it, and scraped away the tumor that was on my abdominal lining to the tailbone. Then they filled my abdomen with heated chemo and massaged it around for 90 minutes. Of course I was asleep for all of this. The surgery lasted 8 hours and then I spent 2 hours in recovery. Pretty aggressive but I am so glad that he was willing to do this surgery.

So here are some lovely pictures from the hospital...don't ask me why I am smiling...it wasn't all pleasant. I spent most of the time just laying down relaxing or walking my rounds in the hospital trying to get my bowels moving again. Mike would come over first thing in the morning and help me get going before the nurses even came in.  It was such a relief to have him there and I was really sad when he had to leave to go back home and back to work.  I had a tube in my nose for about 5 days which kept my stomach clear of all the post surgical fluids. The night before it came out I had a dream that I was sucking on a straw and I couldn't get it out of my mouth so I pulled....when really I pulled on my nose tube (elephant trunk). Luckily I woke up after only pulling out a few inches and quickly pushed it back down. The nurses all had a great laugh about it...they had had patients pull out the tube but never any that pushed it back in.

Emily surprised me on Mother's Day. She showed up and I was soooo confused. I didn't understand what was happening...how she was there or how she got there. When I realized that she had driven over from Seattle just to see me we had a nice cry and I loved that she came to see me even if it was a quick trip.

My brother and sister in law were the perfect hosts and it was nice to have a local and comfortable place to recover for a few days in Spokane. The weather was so great and it was fun to spend time with them even though I just layed around a lot. My mom was with me the entire time and it was so nice to have her close by.  We drove to Seattle when I felt up to it. It was about a 5 hour drive but not too bad. I have been here recouping ever since. There is just nothing like recovering at mom's house. Mike has been coming up on the weekends which gives me a big boost and I am so glad to see him and he is such a support to me.  I am headed home in a week with a quick stop in Spokane to see the doctor again.  Being home will be good and I will be grateful to have Mike there to help me in my further recovery. Here are some pictures from recovery....just laying around and getting lots of rest.

This weekend we have the annual Teddy Bear Picnic and my baby brother Jordan is graduating from dental school.  He is going on to Endodonist school in Texas so he's not quite done yet but he will be Dr. Bolles.  How exciting.

I will have a new plan when I get home which includes radiation on my tailbone area, heavy chemo and continued scans but hopefully the cancer will give me a break for a long while. 

Love to all for the continued thoughts and prayers being sent my way daily.  I know I am loved and that I have a Heavenly Father who still performs miracles.  I am fighting and praying to stay alive and I know that He hears my prayers and guides me to amazing doctors and procedures.  I hope that I can be a servant in His hands and continue to help those around me.